Getting to Bordertown

How To Get To Bordertown From The Human World

C'mon, kid. You can find your Way.

From The Tough Guide to Bordertown

All right, here's the deal. You want a map, a timetable, and clear directions to get to Bordertown. We're going to give you a history lesson first. Shut up, pay attention.

The city takes its name from the Border itself, a magical wall that divides the human World from the enchanted lands beyond: a place that humans call Elfland (or Faerie), populated by a tall, silver-haired, long-lived race of people that humans call elves. They, on the other hand, refer to themselves as Truebloods, and to their homeland simply as the Realm.

Elfhaeme Gate is the only point of passage across the Border, controlled by officers of the Realm. Passage is for those of elfin blood only; no human is ever allowed to cross the Border. Humans have no idea what really lies on the other side, and the elves themselves aren't telling. In fact, they can't tell: there are powerful magics that prevent them from talking about the Realm except in ways designed to obscure the truth.

Bordertown is located in the Borderlands (a.k.a. the Nevernever) between Elfland and the World, where it grew out of the ruins of a human city abandoned when Elfland first appeared. Populated by both elves and humans, Bordertown is a famously uncomfortable place to live. Elfin magic is wildly unpredictable here, as are human science and technology, and the city runs on a volatile combination of the two.

With an economy based on elfin-human trade, much of the city is now reasonably stable-except for the Soho district (south of Ho Street, enclosed within the Old City Wall), which has become a well-known mecca for runaway kids, both human and elfin. This derelict neighborhood remained abandoned for many years until young people began to claim it for their own, squatting in the ruined, graffiti-covered buildings and bringing them back to life.

Okay, you're sayin', I know all this; just tell me how to get there already. You ever seen The Wizard of Oz? Put on those ruby slippers, man, and click three times and say out loud: "I want to go to Bordertown." You think we're joking. We're not. There is no simple way to find this place. You head out the door, you hit the road, and then you depend on dreams, desire, or sheer desperation to lead the way. Doesn't matter if you come from Cleveland, Dallas, Liverpool, Tokyo, Sydney, or Rome...all roads lead to Bordertown and every journey here is unique. If the Border magic wants you, you'll find the right road; if it doesn't, forget it, the road doesn't exist. If you understand what we're talking about, then you'll probably find your way in.

Once you reach the Nevernever (the stretch of wild, empty badlands along the Border), well then you're golden, my friend. At that point, human mechanics start to fail so just leave your car wherever it stops working and plan to travel the last distance on foot. If you're lucky you can hop the Elflands Express if the magic that fuels it is running that week, but don't count on it. Don't count on anything but yourself. Bring plenty of food and water for the crossing because time runs funny in the Nevernever. It might be a day's hike to the outskirts of the city, or a journey of many days, so Be Prepared.

Don't give up now, you're almost here. Soon you'll see the city on the horizon: a weird mix of solid human architecture shoulder-to-shoulder with towers of Faerie construction, all of it just a bit seedy looking (this is a frontier town, not Disneyland), and all of it cloaked with the elfin strain of ivy that grows as fast as kudzu here.

If you're reading this Guide then you're probably young and you're probably looking for the Soho neighborhood, since that's where everything's happening and that's where everyone goes. It's located downtown in the Old City section: bordered by Ho Street to the north and Hell's Gate to the south. Once you're in Soho, head for Carnival Street, where you'll find the neighborhood's oldest and most famous music club, The Dancing Ferret, run by a Border wizard named Farrel Din. Tell him you're new in town. The first beer is on the house. After that, you're on your own.

How To Get To Bordertown From The Realm

Advice for Trueblood travelers, from Trueblood members of The Tough Guide staff...

C'mon, kid. You can find your Way.

We will assume you are not so witless as to read this Guide without a proper Cloaking Spell to keep your interest in Bordertown to your own delicate self. It is advisable to renew this spell each time you make your preparations. You will find that even the contemplation of things Human will affect the underlying vibrations of most Spells and Chants, producing discouraging results.

Your interest in crossing the Border will likely fall into one of these categories:

  1. You are a younger son or daughter of an old and noble House, restricted by inheritance laws, imprisoned by antiquated traditions, bored beyond endurance.
  2. You are the son or daughter of a common or impoverished House with no tangible prospects in the Realm.
  3. You've been beaten, neglected, cheated, wronged, and nobody understands you.
  4. You are flawed in physical form, magical function, or by unseemly desires, and you wish to spare your family the disgrace.
  5. You've fallen under the spell of dissident, human-tainted music and ideas...no doubt by patronizing underhill clubs of the sort that have caused Her Majesty's Horseman no small degree of vexation.

There are two basic ways to cross the Border if you are underage and Under Oath; neither of them honorable or desirable, it must be admitted, but each has proven successful in more cases than the Border Wardens will acknowledge. The first and most foolproof is to have yourself legally Banished from the True and Only Realm by causing a scandal and embarrassing your House. But choose your scandal carefully. You'll need to create one drastic enough to guarantee Banishment from the Realm, but not so dire that you end up in prison, or worse. Avoid politics and high drama. A nice, dull, tasteful scandal is best.

The second method is to attach oneself to an individual or group already sanctioned for limited Border travel (a merchant with business on both sides of the Border, a family with relatives in Bordertown, a school group or diplomatic mission). Once you have crossed through Elfhaeme Gate (whilst keeping your intentions carefully cloaked), the chaotic nature of magic in Bordertown will allow you to simply...disappear. The authorities will Search for you, of course, but they are easily eluded if you follow these three rules:

  1. Head immediately for Soho. The Border Patrol will be loath to follow you there, and the Silver Suits (Bordertown's police force) has no interest in chasing down Border jumpers.
  2. USE NO MAGIC until you are absolutely certain that the Search has been called off. This is difficult and unpleasant, of course, but unless you are the Heir herself it is unlikely that the Search will last very long. Generally, after four to six months your honor will be so compromised that it will no longer be possible to bring you back and the Search will end.
  3. Pick up on the local language, fashions, and customs immediately. The more you associate with humans, the less desirable you are as a candidate for repatriation.

Do not attempt to jump the Border in the literal sense. Use your wits to get through Elfhaeme Gate, and then make your escape once you're on the other side. The Border Wall is a work of master magery, designed by Tildon Sheel himself. Yes, you've heard stories of jumpers who've succeeded-but most do not survive the jump. So unless death is genuinely preferable to whatever you're running away from, please, don't even try.